Jane Mathew was the guest speaker at St. Francis Church family fellowship. It was almost ten O’clock at night when she finally said good night to Fr. Giovanni and his new partner Fr. Brian. On their way back to the rectory, the two priests were chatting

• So, what do you think of Ms. Mathew Fr. Brian?
•  She seems to be good. She prepared well and her delivery kept everybody interested.
• Indeed. I usually invite her to speak on family matters. The congregation seems to respond to her very well.
• But please forgive me Fr. Giovanni, is it not better to have the priest always deliver such instructions. I personally feel it undermines the authority of the clergy to have any lay person…eh…I mean, …eh… especially a woman/
• (Giovanni stopped briefly, smiled and then walked on) By no means Fr. Brian. The ultimate goal is always to get the people connect with our Lord Christ. So/
• Sorry for interrupting Fr. But I don’t think that the end justifies the means.
• You are taking this too far Fr. Brian. Let me tell you, that inviting different speakers to address the congregation, happens to energize and invigorate the whole system. People get bored after hearing the same person speak again and again no matter how good they are. Would you like to have some ice tea?
• (they were entering the kitchen now) I’d rather have some lemonade. But any way tell me Fr. What do you know about that Jane… what? What is her name? What makes her qualified to instruct the people? Does she confess in this church? I understand that she lives away from here?
• (Fr. Giovanni brought the drinks, put them on the table and sat down) No, she does not confess in this church. If she did, I wouldn’t be able to talk to you about her. Her family used to live around here in the Bronx. Both her parents died in a car accident when she was in her first college year. She had to take care of her brother who was still in his senior year of high school. They got some money from the insurance. She managed to get both of them through college, and eventually her brother got married and moved west with his wife to Seattle.
• Did she ever get married? How can she/
• Yes Fr. She started working in the Museum. Something that has to do with public events, school trips and different research groups…that sort of thing. That is where she met Murray and then they got married. Unfortunately he turned out to be a womanizer and alcoholic. She endured quite a bit during the two years of their marriage, until one day he left and never came back.
• As much as I sympathize with her unfortunate circumstances, I’m afraid this further proves my point Fr. Giovanni. She must have a lot of deep seated anxiety and resentments. As such, how can we put her at the podium to instruct others?
• I’m afraid I have to disagree. I believe that the tragedies she encountered in her life helped her better understand other peoples’ sufferings. That is probably why she has been so successful in delivering a convincing message of hope and endurance for the past few years since I knew her.

            It was obvious that neither priest could convince the other as they parted that evening.

Jane arrived home about eleven thirty that night. She was still thinking about the topic of that evening “why adults have difficulty communicating with teenagers” all the way back from church; she couldn’t help but go back with her memory to her own teen age years. The beatings she had to endure from her father at the slightest mistake, Her mother who was almost always bed ridden with numerous maladies, and her own struggle to get through school. Instinctively she started to drift back to the time when she had a crush on Brandon. He somehow knew it and would get great pleasure in tormenting her by parading with different girls every day while looking down on her. There was a time when she thought that all men were sadistic savages, which was later confirmed in her mind after she met Murray. When they first met at the museum she saw in him a sensitive art loving man. They discussed Michael Angelo and Hellenistic temple sculpture for hours as if they were reading each other’s mind. Only after they got married that the dark side of Murray started to rear its ugly head. She was putting on her sleeping gown as she began to wonder how she could endure all these horrors; she immediately came to the same usual conclusion… Fr. Michael. He was a ray of hope and a balsam to her wounds. He was the one who helped change her outlook to life, to men and to the future. She had such an overpowering urge to pick up the phone and call him, when she realized it was already past midnight. She put the phone down. But as she turned away to turn off the lights, the phone rang. She looked again at her clock somewhat afraid. She hesitantly picked up the receiver…

• Hello, who is this?
• Ms. Mathew I am Helen Weston, the mother of Paul Weston. (she was weeping uncontrollably)
• (now Jane was troubled) Yes…yes Helen. What is the matter? How can I help you?
• Oh, Jane…Paul is in the hospital.
• What happened? Why is he/
• He was shot… by his father. (Jane had to sit down) they had an argument about the report card of this semester. His father was cleaning his gun and when the argument got really bad, he slammed the gun and it discharged.
• Is Paul hurt badly?
• I don’t know. His father was arrested. They took Paul to the hospital… I was not home. I was visiting my sister in Georgia and just arrived home from the airport. Oh Jane I don’t know what to do? I want to die!!!
• Helen, hold on, I shall be there as soon as I can and then we can go to the hospital together. OK?

She was driving and her tears were flowing down her face in a continuous stream. The road trip[ was filled with the image of Paul…the shy ill nourished boy with disheveled hair and care free countenance. He is smart, but because of his weak stature, he was always the subject of other boys’ pranks and tricks. He was a member in the youth meeting when she was serving in St. John’s Church two years before. After Murray walked out on her, she stopped her social service in that church. She was too embarrassed to show her face there. Except for the nagging persistence of Fr. Giovanni, she would never have returned to service again in any capacity, in any church.

            Jane picked up the grieving Helen, and rushed to the hospital. Soon she was standing at the foot of Paul’s bed. His mother was going crazy seeing all the different equipment attached to his motionless slim body. His face and head were half covered by bandages. The doctor mentioned that he lost a lot of blood but his chances were not too bad if he survived the night.

            As she was driving back home alone, Jane was reflecting on what happened. She always wanted to have a child of her own. It was not meant to be.  Yet she had the same strong and overpowering feelings for this youngster like his own Mom. She even forgot everything else in order to make sure he is OK. May be the message was for her tonight. The topic in the Church, the visit to the hospital… and her own memories haunting her must have all come together to tell her something. May be the Lord did not give her a child of her own, in order to give her time to take care of HIS children. As she resolved to get back and devote all her energies to service, she smiled sadly to herself and wondered, “It is going to be an uphill battle. Some other people might not see things the same way I see them now…well, should that matter?”